vampychick: (SYTYCD - mmm Pasha&Anya (+Cristina))
[personal profile] vampychick
So uh...I got super-talky this week. Yeah.

How funny is it that the week wardrobe got its act together (I didn't see any trim fall off anyone's costume, and only Courtney was dressed insanely) was the week of two serious wardrobe malfunctions?

Are they going to have ANY ballroom standard numbers this season, or just Latin? I know Anya and Pasha are Latin competitors, but I'm willing to bet they're more familiar with the standard dances than Kathryn is with Bollywood. Quickstep, waltz, and even foxtrot don't go over so well on this show sometimes, but they'd probably be a lot more manageable for several of the contestants than, say, samba.

(Unrelated to anything this week: I'm pretty sure the problem with quickstep is that this show and DWTS both insist on it being danced almost entirely in hold, which results in less of a connection to the audience, and can be absolutely devastating if the dancers fail to connect with each other. This is pure and proper quickstep, it's true, but it does not film well.)

Why have we got the same three judges every week suddenly? Adam just seems to go, "Yeah, I agree with exactly what they said," and Mia rambles about purple winds and other assorted nonsense, which is annoying in a completely different way from how Mary was annoying, and speaking of which, where is Mary? I thought she left her permanent judging seat to choreograph, and we have seen neither hide nor hair of her thus far. Weirdness.

And and and, now that we can have same-gender pairings, can we get a man-on-man paso doble, please please please? (With Pasha, not among the contestants, SVP.) It could be so good. Of course, it could also be so bad with the wrong dude, but, a girl can dream.

Adechike - He was decent, but Lauren outdanced him, and she is Lauren, so. That is saying a lot. And then the show's second hip-hop blew this one out of the water and out of everyone's minds, ouch. Why was Lauren dancing hip-hop instead of Comfort; is Comfort injured or something? And has wardrobe gotten its act together? They both looked decent and nothing fell off anyone's clothes.

Solo: Meh. He's just meh for me. I could barely be bothered to watch his solo. I've been told it was actually great, but he does nothing for me. MEH.

Alex - Is there ANYTHING he cannot do? (I blame Tyce for last week. Tyce and wardrobe.) DAMN. Just. DAMN. THAT WAS SO GOOD, Y'ALL. I was like, "Oh God this is going to be overly literal" at the beginning, and then Alex and Twitch just blew the roof off it. DAMN. I CANNOT STOP CAPSLOCKING.

Solo: AWESOME. Just AWESOME. I could watch him do that ALL NIGHT. My God, that boy can dance.

Ashley - Why does Cat keep saying her name like that? It's weird. Is it supposed to be a Southern accent? Because Ashley is, I thought, not from the South, and assuming she's calling back to Gone with the Wind, well, that Ashley was a boy. It kind of sucks that we haven't really gotten to see her out of this genre yet. I am so glad they did not pick on her for that, but really, would it have killed them to have given her the salsa? Really interesting concept, great for lifty Ade, really well-danced.

Solo: It felt like it took a long-ass time for this to get going. And then there was another layout stepout (more on that down in Kent's section, since his actually came first) which annoys me, but she's so cute. Drat her, I can't be irritated.

Billy - Wait, he's taken hip-hop classes? Because...well. Last week was bad. Maybe he studied a completely other part of the hip-hop continuum, I guess. The dance itself was good, but I thought it was more pose-y than dance-y. IDK. It feels like he's just coasting on being Billy Bell.

Solo: Something about this…bothered me. His movement was exquisite, and he was dancing the music, so I don't know what it was. Maybe it was simply that his pants reminded me of Melinda's dreadful pants from last week's results show.

Dance For Your Life: Floaty nice la la la lovely dancing "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE." Ruins the mood.

Jose - So my first thought was, "Anya is going to be sambaing, I'm going to have no idea anyone else is on that stage." And then she did that leap onto his face Erin did in her Argentine Tango on DWTS in the rehearsal footage, and I KNEW I would have no idea anyone else was onstage. Provided he did not drop her. Which he didn't, so, good for him, seriously. Once he got through that part he really had no worries. Except for how he was just standing there not really even dancing while Anya sexed up the place. God, she is so hot. He's a good performer, though--he LOOKED like he was standing up to her and happy to be dancing with this total sex bomb more than Kent or even Robert did, even though in reality he was nine times worse than either of them and Anya had to dial her dancing waaaaaaaay down for him, which makes me sad.

Solo: That was an interesting choice of music for a breakdancer! And his headspin was better than on previous occasions. Other than that I am not at all qualified to comment on breaking and can just sort of go, "I guess it was good."

Kent - His inspiration is his brother, a youth pastor with great morals. Hoo boy. And he's going to college in New York? The city is going to gleefully unhinge its jaws like a vast python and swallow him whole.

The judges say they want him to act like a man, but he is not a man, he is a sheltered eighteen-year-old boy, y'all. You wanted someone to act like a man, you should have gone with Anthony Burrell and tossed Kent back to season for a year or two, but no, you went, "Tee-hee he's so cute, look at how cute he is," and now you want him to act mature but A) he can't, because he's not and B) you already gave his immaturity positive reinforcement and sold it to the tweens who vote. Congratulations. You've created a monster. He's leaning TOO hard on his aw-shucks farmboyness, and if the voters wake up (a big if) it'll backfire on him eventually. It's already hurting his dance, because he's not inhabiting characters, and not everyone's going to choreograph a routine for a wide-eyed farmboy seeing his first real woman--that aspect of his cha-cha was a kindness from the choreographers. Allison was hot shit, and he just looked like a kid next to her. Like, seriously. He looked twelve.

Of course, if he does manage to pull maturity out of a hat at some point, it may bite him in the ass with girls going, "WTF, this is not the Kent I giggle over! I will not vote, that'll show him!"

Solo: This was decent contemporary, I guess, but oh, Kent. Your abs are not good enough, in this group, for you to be using the "ooh, I lost my buttons, look at my chest" trick. And this is a pet peeve that is by no means limited to him: as a huge gymnastics fan I am pretty much over dancers throwing layout stepouts with crappy form into the middle of their solos to enormous cheers (I blame Neil. He's the first one I remember really leaning on it).

Lauren - Her biggest inspiration is her high school advisor? God, she's so young. It's amazing how much better Broadway is on this show when Tyce isn't choreographing it, isn't it? I think it got that '40s feel down really well, and they were both certainly more engaged than Adechike was in the previous "fantasy daydream" piece. And they handled the wardrobe malfunction with aplomb.

Solo: There was a lot of rolling around on the floor in this. And at the end I found myself being annoyed by how they pick these nice, soft music choices and then at the end there's that loud, harsh, "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!" at the end and it rips me out of it, and the dancers KNOW it's coming, so why do they go there? Sigh.

Melinda - How did this chick luck into Pasha (TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT) twice in two weeks, and since when is she Colombian? This is brand-new information to me. I figured that if she already knows how to salsa this should suck less than previous iterations of "Melinda dances," but whatever style of salsa she knows didn't translate as well as could have been hoped, I guess. The wardrobe malfunction twelve seconds in didn't slow her down much, so, good work there, especially considering it took the form of trapping one of her feet. I actually thought she did better than she was given credit for, and I really don't like her, so. That is saying a lot from me.

I cannot believe the judges are admitting they made a mistake. WOW. Harsh for her to hear, but. Yeah, they totally made a mistake.

Solo: I am so over her tapping, but those godforsaken horrible red pants didn't make a return appearance (that was a pretty dress!). If she by some miracle manages to stay over someone more worthy tomorrow night, she should really look into performing any and all future tap solos a cappella. It would save the show money on usage rights, so they might actually go for it.

Dance For Your Life: Apparently she heard my advice about tapping a cappella. That was the best thing she's done yet, but it couldn't save her. She stayed a week past her welcome.

Robert - looks even better covered in sweat with eyeliner on, UNF. That brace on his foot in rehearsal worries me. It's a little early to be breaking the dancers, no? I think he's finally learned to dial it down and just let people appreciate the hotness. Courtney's pants were the worst sartorial choice of the night, but they weren't falling apart while she danced, so they still win over last week. I thought this was fairly awesome with all the weird sort of (TM) Sonya Tayeh movement. I swear Robert's head is attached to his body with elastic.

Although, can I just say, people keep saying, "That was good but he's no Mark," and, "That was good but it was no 'The Garden,'" and do you people even listen to yourselves? No one ever said he was trying to be Mark, and certainly no one ever said this was supposed to be exactly like a completely different piece. Ugh.

Solo: TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. Why did he wipe the eyeliner off? The eyeliner and shirtlessness were VOTES. God, he is just so bendy. A+ for keeping his face under control this week.

Dance For Your Life: God he is so bendy. The style of this was really different and I appreciated that. I love him so. I am deeply worried about him if he lands in the bottom again. Eeeeek.
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Miss V. Chick

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