vampychick: (SYTYCD - mmm Pasha&Anya (+Cristina))
[personal profile] vampychick
They added a judge! Wow! Progress! Of course, he wasn't a judge who knew one of the genres they're not familiar with like ballroom or hip-hop, but, progress. Normally I like Cat's clothes, but her dress looked like Those Jokers In Wardrobe stapled a curtain sheer to a tank top. It was bad. Good to see Alex again! And super-good to see him smiling.

There was no Anya and no Pasha on this show, and that's terrible. I'm trying to accept that Pasha's basically out of work, since they can't give Lauren ballroom every week and with the exception of paso doble and possibly jive and tango (there's a long history of men tangoing; in some parts of South America I believe it's considered a "men's dance" but in America it's probably too sexualized to work on network television), they're not going to put same-sex ballroom on this show. Even though Pasha apparently once taught a ballroom class for gay couples (how does he keep being more awesome?) so I'm pretty sure he'd be down with it.

The Contestants!

Adechike (Comfort, hip-hop) - It's crazy how Comfort managed to actually bring the sharpness and the hip-hop to what really should've been a jazz routine they were basically lying about. She is SO good. Adechike I guess was good also? But I sort of didn't notice him, which is, you know, sad. She really slapped him; I think those may have been tears of pain.

Solo: Those leaps were deeply impressive.

Billy - STOP BREAKING THE DANCERS. It is not so much to ask. Jesus. I think he made the right decision sitting out; at the rate things have been going he could have really fucked his knee if he'd danced. I do want to know what he was supposed to dance, though. Courtney was sitting next to him in the audience, so I would guess he was dancing with her, but can't be sure. Woe.

Jose (Allison, contemporary) - I liked how it used the edge of the stage, but about halfway through, my mom said, "This is kind of a stupid little dance," and you know what? I agree. A lot of it was just sitting and flailing. It was not a lot of dancing, and I did not like it.

Solo: Meh.

Kent (Kathryn, jazz) - This was really good! But I felt like there were several moments where Kent was too aware of his own cuteness and doing the "OMG LOOKIT ME" face, which, pass.

Solo: Was Kent even alive when Boyz II Men were a thing? Blah blah lovely contemporary solo so over it.

Lauren (Twitch, hip-hop) - I'll say it, since Cat didn't: "These are the boys...and here is your girl." The Wild West concept was kind of...odd, but she hung, which considering she is literally half Twitch's size and looks kind of like a Barbie, is pretty impressive. It was a fun routine, and she was clearly going hard. I liked it! That, IDK what it's called, frontwards roll tumbleweed thing she did was impressive.

Solo: The tiny children may qualify as emotional blackmail, but they were cute. And Miss Lauren can really dance, although...I think I'm pretty much over contemporary solos at this point, because it felt, like, pretty, but unremarkable.

Robert (Stupid Lauren, jazz) - Nooooo not Tyce choreography with Stupid Lauren! It's a duet of suck! Although Tyce is better at jazz than Broadway. And stop talking about how hot Stupid Lauren is, she's not that hot! You people have seen Anya, how can you still be on about Stupid Lauren's hotness? Anyway, this was kind of...skanky. When he licked her leg? Ew. Do not want. Although, to be fair, if any of the contestants left had to lick someone (and that was the choreographer's decision, not the dancer's; I guess Robert could have said, "No, I'm not comfortable with this," but he probably doesn't want to make waves), Robert was the best choice, so maybe it's Stupid Lauren being the lickee I'm objecting to. He might have caught something. It also felt intense, so that was good, but. Yeah. Skanky.

Solo: Bendy! And pretty! But kind of unremarkable, woe, in that "I am so over contemporary solos" way of tonight. But it's his twentieth birthday, so happy birthday!

Lauren/Robert (samba) - Um. Can I watch Dmitry Chaplin teach them to samba all night? God, that man's hips don't lie. LOL at the "SYTYCD remix." It was fun, and I enjoyed it a lot. I did catch a couple of glaring mistakes, like fumbling for handholds, but: beginners. I would really appreciate it if they wouldn't talk about Lauren's rear end so much.

Adechike/Jose (paso doble) - I was really excited about guy-on-guy paso. I mean, come on, dueling bullfighters! Hot. My ideal scenario would've been Robert and Pasha, but that was not to be. I have to admit that I was sort of perversely hoping, as soon as I figured out it was going to be two contestants, that one of them had been Billy so Pasha and his chest would get subbed in (I never said I wasn't shallow), but, DENIED. Alas.

Swinging those capes around correctly is NOT easy, it takes work, and it shows: Jose was having some trouble and almost getting tangled, because Jose is a weak sauce dancer. A lot of that was super-awkward and poorly done, those death drops were terrible, and I am displeased. Adechike was better than Jose, but, you know, that's not saying a lot.

I don't understand why they had Legacy assisting in choreo instead of Pasha. In fact, in my head, this was Dmitry and Pasha, and twelve million times better. And on that note, I'll be in my bunk.

Kent/All-Star Twitch (stepping) - Lies, Cat, that was not the first stepping routine on this show, there was one in season three. So glad Nigel finally corrected her, but couldn't someone have let her know the teleprompter was telling her lies during one of the commercial breaks so she didn't keep saying it? It did crack me up a little how completely foreign the concept of step clearly was to Cat. It was also clearly completely foreign to Kent. Unfortunately, it is not completely foreign to me, and that was not good stepping. Billy made the right call. That would have been...incredibly white.

I was almost wishing Adechike and Jose had gotten the step instead, but then Billy and Kent would have had paso doble, and I cannot see either of them pulling off bullfighter bravado, like, at all.

Results Show!

Opening number: ridiculous. Cat's dress: also ridiculous, but less so than last night. Pas de deux: ridiculous, for a value of ridiculous meaning "awesome and lovely." How they drew out revealing who was in danger for twenty-five minutes: ridiculous in the original way. The guest soloist confused me: he made it to Vegas, he was that insanely good, and...he didn't make the show why? I would much rather have had Lauren & Pasha's Transformers hip-hop than "Night of the Dancing Flame" but they had to give Neil a turn, I know.

I don't like how they roll out these Latin singers and then instead of using the Latin dancers who I actually desperately want to see, they have everyone else do something. With Debi Nova it was new and surprising, but this time I was like "Enrique Iglesias, score, this is the perfect time for Anya and Pasha to show off!" and then we got Lauren and Allison just sort of strutting, plus a bit of Dominic. Maybe they were out of town this week? That would also explain why the hell Legacy was helping with the paso doble, actually.

Also, Enrique Iglesias looked totally drunk.

Billy: I think he made the right call, but he looks…resigned.

Jose: That was actually impressive. It was the first time I've been kind of impressed by him.

Robert: I liked it a lot better than his solo from last night, maybe because there weren't twelve million contemporary solos. He can really dance.

And NO ONE goes home, and next week two people go. Holy cow. This fucking season.
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Miss V. Chick

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